navigating the holidays as an lgbtq+ person
While the holiday season can be a time of celebration and joy, it’s also a period that can bring heightened emotions, stress, and discomfort, especially for members of the LGBTQ+ community. Although research shows no significant spike in mental health struggles during the holidays, existing conditions may be exacerbated, particularly for individuals without supportive family or a safe network.
A 2014 survey by the National Alliance on Mental Illness revealed that 64% of people with mental health challenges report that the holiday season makes their conditions worse. For 24% of people, the "holiday blues" make things significantly harder. These heightened emotional experiences are even more relevant for LGBTQ+ individuals, who face a higher risk of mental health conditions compared to heterosexual people. According to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, lesbian, gay, and bisexual adults are more than twice as likely to experience mental health struggles, while transgender people are nearly four times as likely to face such challenges.
So, let’s talk about the struggles this community faces and some tips for those who may need extra support.
5 Common Holiday Challenges for LGBTQ+ Individuals
Lack of Acceptance: Some LGBTQ+ individuals may still be in the process of coming out or have faced rejection in the past. Returning home can stir up painful memories, triggering feelings of shame and guilt.
Microaggressions: Family members, even if well-intentioned, may make subtle or unintentional comments that are offensive or dismissive of LGBTQ+ identities. These microaggressions can be hurtful and add to the discomfort of an unsupportive family environment.
Misgendering/Deadnaming: For transgender and non-binary individuals, the holidays may bring repeated misgendering or deadnaming from family members who don't understand or respect their gender identity or chosen name. This can feel deeply invalidating and damaging.
Isolation: Not all LGBTQ+ individuals have supportive or accepting social networks. For those estranged from their families or with limited community connections, the holidays can highlight feelings of loneliness.
Mental Health Struggles: Feelings of anxiety, depression, and isolation can become more intense during the holiday season, particularly for those already dealing with stigma or discrimination.
5 Strategies for Nurturing Mental Health and Creating Safe Spaces
Although the holiday season can be challenging, there are ways to protect your mental health and create a sense of safety. Here are some tips to help:
Reflect on Your Needs and Set Boundaries: Before heading home, take time to reflect on what you want from the holiday season and what you need to avoid. Setting boundaries is essential. It’s important to communicate your needs for respect and understanding, especially when sensitive topics arise. You have the right to feel safe and accepted.
Build a Supportive Community: If your family isn't supportive, it's vital to connect with others who affirm your identity. Consider organizing get-togethers with trusted friends, or chosen family.
Create Safe Spaces at Home: For those who didn’t grow up in supportive households, creating your own sanctuary at home is vital for mental health and healing. Remember: your home should be a place where you can rest, recharge and feel valued.
Practice Self-Care: Make time for activities that nurture your mental health. Self-care can help you stay grounded during stressful times. Treat yourself! You deserve it!
Take Breaks and Manage Stress: It’s okay to step away from situations that feel overwhelming. Simple techniques like deep breathing, taking short walks, or visualizing a peaceful place can help reduce anxiety and stress.
Moving Forward
It’s important to acknowledge that many LGBTQ+ people face systemic challenges throughout the year, but the holiday season often magnifies these struggles. For those who might not feel safe or affirmed in their families, the holiday season can be a reminder of what is lacking, but also of what can be built. We can create our own families of choice, our own affirming spaces, and our own traditions of love and support. If you’re struggling, please know that you’re not alone, and resources like The Trevor Project are always available to provide support and guidance.
The holiday season should be a time of joy, and although it may not always feel that way, we can create the space for peace, love, and authenticity — for ourselves and for those who share our journey.
If you are struggling this season don’t hesitate to reach out for help! There are so many people who want what’s best for you and who are there for you 24/7. Check out the resources linked below.
Resources
The Trevor Project: (866) 488-7386
The LGBT National Hotline: (888) 843-4564, 1 on 1 Peer Support Chat
The Transgender Crisis Hotline: (877) 565-8860
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988
